Lying is one of
the most common behaviors in society. There are a lot of reasons behind the
lies.
Firstly, people lie to hide
information. In society, people are expected to in a certain manners and when
people don’t act like that they can fell disappointed and isolated. However,
lying help them to avoid conflict. Lying is easier than meeting expectations of
people. Secondly, people lie to gain attention, respect, power etc. Namely,
when people create a new truth, it becomes more effective. Thirdly, people tell
lie to escape from punishment because they are scared of the consequences of
their lies. To illustrate, if a child knows that he has done something wrong
and is afraid of being punished by parents, he tends to lie not to be punished.
However, many times that just makes it worse because they have to keep on lying.
Lastly, people tell lies to deceive other people. For instance, in online world
people may hide their own identity and deceive others by giving false
information about themselves. Probably, this is the most harmful type of lying
because this is like taking other’s belongings or life.
Despite bad
sides of lying, people seem to feel lying in some circumstances is acceptable. For
instance, sometimes we can be obliged to say white lies. Howbeit, we must avoid
lying.
Bu yorum yazar tarafından silindi.
YanıtlaSil* In society, people are expected to in a certain manners => missing verb (after ‘to’)
YanıtlaSil*when people don’t act like that they can fell disappointed and isolated => punctuation
* lying help them => verb form
*feel (in line 2 at the bottom) => word choice
Dear Dilek,
I liked reading your journal. I liked also your topic because lying is really a common problem in our society. The reasons you stated in your journal are generally explained effectively. However, I think your second reason needs explaining in more detail. There are no irrelevant sentences in your journal, so it is unified. You have used connectors effectively. There some grammar problems which I have stated on the top in your journal, but I think they are because of carelessness. You need to revise your journal in order to correct the mistakes. Except for this, I liked the organization of your journal. Moreover, there are no capitalization mistakes in the journal. I am looking forward to reading your other journals.
(*) Lying is one of the most common behaviors in society.(word form)
YanıtlaSil(*) In society, people are expected to in a certain manners…( sentence structure)
(*) …that they can fell disappointed and isolated.(verb pattern)
Dear Dilek,
I enjoyed reading your journal. Your language is very fluent. I think you express your thoughts about lie clearly. However, there are some mistakes I have mentioned above. Thereby, you should revise your journal for improving it. On the other hand, I liked your journal very much. Then, I want to evaluate your journal in terms of context and organization. When I look your journal, I realize that your journal very good in terms of these concepts. Additionally, it has unity and coherence. I am looking forward to reading your other journals and I liked it very much
Dear Zahide and Nur,
YanıtlaSilFrom now on, I will pay more attention to my grammar mistakes. Thank you very much for your comments :)